Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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