Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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