honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
