Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
