Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
