ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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