By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Everclear isn't food dammit
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
