She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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