school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
