hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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