it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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