dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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