We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You took a bar mat shot.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
