she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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