Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
