You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
