I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
