But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
