they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
