i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
