So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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