ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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