Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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