We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
