you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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