Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
