So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got her a Nickelback box set.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
