Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
