I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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