i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
