puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
