I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
