Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
