Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
