He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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