you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
