Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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