the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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