I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
