Christians are straight up FREAKS
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
