i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
