It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
