Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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