His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
