I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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