Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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