You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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