Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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