Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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