hell yes lets make some ravioli
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
