You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
